When I’m randomly selected for anything, whether it be after passing through the bag check of Disneyland, getting pulled to the side by the TSA at the airport, or for a free meal, I can only wonder, “why me out of everyone else?”.

The TSA has been rearing it’s ugly face in places I don’t want to see it, and frankly, it’s become a neuisance. However, I know that it is needed, and I’m aware that the TSA stops terrorists on a daily basis. The random selection process is an absolute joke though. According to TSA guidelines, which vary from state to state and venue to venue, “you may be randomly selected for ‘excessive laughter’ or ‘sneezing too much'”. My personal favorite way of getting randomly selected might be “smiling too much”! So you’re telling me, that if I’m at Disneyland, the “Happiest Place On Earth”, I can’t be smiling too much? Pardon me, but not being able to smile sure brings the happiness down a few notches, don’t you think? However, I am absolutely overjoyed to know that the child in front of me in line dressed as his favorite Disney character wasn’t harboring any explosives with plans to destroy the castle, thank you for that one TSA (not really!).

At the airport the TSA takes a certain fancy to a few races. You and I both know this is true, but the TSA likes to remain “as random as possible while still looking for any red flags that may present a real threat”. That’s funny, because almost every time I go to the airport, the same “random” people are being pulled to the side by the TSA. It’s a shame really, you can expect to see women wearing head dresses that are normal in their culture, being showed into a seperate room to participate in a “random safety search”. Imagine throwing yourself into their position, wearing a turban or head dress or any red flag item for that matter that may not be part of your culture or religion, or just your beard that you decided to grow out for whatever reason.

I put myself into their position and just think of how terrible knowing you’re more than likely going to be stopped for a random search before you even enter the doors to the airport. I might even consider altering my appearance just to get past the TSA and their time consuming screening process. I walk in thinking that maybe this is the day everything goes by smoothly! But, sadly, I go to check in and get my boarding pass. Surprise! I’ll have to go check in with an agent to board. I find out that my name is on a list and I ask how it got on there, but the explanation I got really doesn’t make any sense at all. After getting the ok, I’m in the clear, and I receive my boarding pass. While I wait in line, I wonder if I qualify for a TSA pre-check or if I’ll have to be, you know, white. I give the guards my most charming attitude in hopes that I won’t have any trouble, but the guard takes my pass and writes some sort of gibberish on it. So I just go ahead and walk through the body scanner and watch my civil liberties fly by. However the inevitable happens, I am “randomly selected”. So now I get to sit back and watch a TSA agent open my bags and search through my very suspicious looking sweatshirt and socks. The pain of myself, more than likely having to do that once again when I land, haunts my entire flight. That is, if I actually make it on time to my flight.

I don’t know about any of you, but that sounds absolutely unbearable. I guess I was just blessed by my parents to be born without any “red flags”, basically meaning I’m white. If I may extend some advice to some of you readers with darker skin, I would seriously consider shaving your beard the night before the flight and dressing as American as possible when you get to the airport. Unless you know, you like being “randomly selected” every time you enter an airport. If that’s the case, more power to you my friend!